My 16th Birthday

Today I felt it was time to share with you a piece of my own personal trauma.

They say bad decisions make good stories, and they’re not wrong. By this theory, then, my life is full of excellent stories. Perhaps the most infamous, at least among those who know me well, is the story of my 16^th Birthday Party.

In my first ever post I told you my age with this lovely picture:

THIS PICTURE IS A LIE.
This is not at all an accurate representation of my birthday.
Now, I feel I am emotionally ready to tell you the truth.

 On the 8th of October, I was flying home from my 3 week tour of America. Which meant a good 15 hours of my birthday were spent on a plane. On the plus side, I was seated next to Tina, who had bought me a present and a card with a banana on it and did her very best to make sure I had the best possible birthday plane ride of my life. It was pretty cool.

We also got chocolate cake at the airport stopover.

As my birthday and my 'welcome home' day were the same, I was flocked with loving family members bearing gifts and celebration at the airport. 

All except my mother, who had managed to simultaneously forget that the 8th of October was the day I came home, and the day of my 16th Birthday. I didn't hear from her until a few days later and I still sort of resent her for it.

My father was very excited about the perfect gifts he'd bought me, and even though I was a little bit horrified to unwrap not one, but two giant framed Twilight posters, I knew he meant well, and at least he'd remembered my birthday.

I insisted that I was up for my birthday dinner at our favourite restaurant, but jet lag caught up with me and I subsequently fell asleep at the table following the singing of 'happy birthday' 

I'd decided before going to America that since I'd be away on the 8th, my proper, full-blown coming-of-age celebration would happen on the 31st of October, what better time to celebrate becoming 16 than Halloween? The theme would be Tim Burton.

I carefully planned out every detail of my party from the food and decorations to my costume,
and like a good little girl I had every intention of keeping it substance-free.
That is, until my dad randomly walked into my room after a brief discussion about my party and added
"Oh, by the way, you can have alcohol at your party." I stared, gobsmacked.
"You're 16 and responsible, and the party is all girls. As long as I'm not there, you can drink"

Of course I took him up on this offer, and immediately notified my friends that alcohol was welcome.
Friday night arrived, I was putting on my Mrs Lovett costume

and dad was getting everything ready so he could stay at his girlfriend's place and leave us unsupervised. Now, I'd just like to say, he trusted me and thought we deserved some freedom. My dad meant well and is a very responsible, level-headed, caring parent. None of the events that unfolded are his fault.

At first it was all fun and games, one by one my friends rocked up in costume, this included Tina, my friend Mary, my girlfriend of the time Tay,  and several others.

All mature, responsible young ladies.
We put some vodka in the punch and sat outside chatting and eating snacks until it got dark and dad decided we were settled enough for him to leave us alone.
As soon as he had gone, we broke out ALL THE ALCOHOL.
and shit got real.

Most of the girls there, being under age,  had never been drunk before and did not know their limit.
It was fun at first, we laughed and drank and sang at the top of our lungs and drunkenly did the macarena.
But it was soon apparent that Tay had been pre-drinking and it took her very little time to get totally smashed.
We started drunkenly making out on my dining room floor when Mary staggered in. She sat down and watched us for a while, and then decided to join in. She kissed me, and then Tay, and then us both at once.
Then everybody else started kissing each other.
Remember the majority of these girls were 16 and straight.
And basically we ended up with a kind of lesbian kissing orgy on my kitchen floor.

I can't remember how I got there but next thing I know I was in my own bed with a very drunk and eager Tay. Being not nearly drunk enough to justify ignoring my inhibitions and going along with anything she did, I tried to leave, but she wouldn't let me. I think that's the moment I realized I didn't want to be with Tay, I wanted to be outside with my friends.
We'd had problems in the past and after nearly 3 months of dating I knew there was no way I could stay with her. I was kind of disgusted. With her, and myself. So I did what anyone in my situation would do, I rolled off the bed, ran to the bathroom and threw up.
I'm not sure if it was my conscience or alcohol poisoning, probably both, but I spend a great deal of time kneeling before the porcelain god wanting to die.
It was not my proudest moment.

Tay tried to be helpful by pulling my hair back and then putting me to bed and tried to cuddle me, but I just wanted her gone. Tired of putting up with her, I sent her away. She went outside and left me to my own devices, lying in bed in the dark convinced I was actually going to die.

A few of my friends came to check on me, the only two who still had their senses, one who was practised in CPR and made sure I didn't choke on my own vomit, and the other who hadn't had anything to drink and could assess the situation properly.
They asked me a series of questions to make sure I still knew who I was and Mary came in, joining in with the questions.
"What's the capitol of Holland? Here's a clue, it rhymes with HAMSTER SPAM!"
At that point we realized two of our friends had gone missing,
they'd decided to run to the beach in the dead of night, possibly to make out some more.

A search party was sent out to retrieve them, but I still couldn't move. Meanwhile outside on the trampoline there was more making out, and by this point Tay was so drunk people were starting to worry.
When Mary rejected Tay's advances and then tried to take her bottle of vodka away, Tay took a swing at her.
Mary came to find us, traumatized, and when we found Tay on crouched the floor clutching her bottle like some kind of deranged alcoholic gremlin we realized the party was well and truly out of control.
We resolved to ring parents.

I had sobered up completely by now, but unfortunately my body wasn't done rejecting my internal organs. Allie, the youngest and most sober girl there called her parents to sort everything out, and I had to try and be as mature and dignified as possible while I explained the situation to them in between retching into a bucket.

Mary, still sobbing and shaken from the attack, rang her cousin to pick her up and take her home. I couldn't do anything but hug her and apologise.
Tay was exceptional at acting sober, as soon as the adults arrived she turned into a complete angel, but luckily Allie's mum saw through this and despite much begging and protesting, called Tay's Mum to pick her up.
Tay's Mum arrived at the same time as my Dad. I grovelled at his feet.
"I'm so so so so sorry this is all my fault I was supposed to take care of everyone and keep everything under control! I'M SORRYYYY" I sobbed.

Dad looked around and wasn't phased at all, in fact I'm pretty sure he shrugged.
"It's okay! It could have been much worse, and it's not your fault"
"NO, IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU LEFT THEM UNATTENDED!" Tay's mum went off completely and started a full on screaming match. Dad handled it well, but refused to take the blame.
"Excuse me but it's YOUR daughter who'd been pre-drinking and got violent!"
and so it went on.

Once Tay and her mum stormed out, the party died down. Most of us had sobered up and were in no danger so the adults left us once everything was under control again. We pretty much just fell asleep watching Alice in Wonderland.
The next morning consisted of a lot of throwing up and trying to piece together the events of the night before, and when I realized that Tay had in fact cheated on me on that trampoline- or at least tried, I don't know the details, with Mary and, yes, Tina. (Oh so THAT'S why she spent 4 hours crying and apologising to me) I was a little bit torn up, but Tay had cheated on me a few times before, and I'd already decided to break up with her, so it was no real loss. And I never held it against my friends, Mary was well known for being the straight girl who got drunk and kissed girls, and Tina would never ever purposely do anything to harm anyone she cared abut, which included her boyfriend, who she apologised profusely to as soon as it happened. She'd never been drunk before and went overboard and it wasn't her fault.
I was traumatized though, my party had gone so wrong and I was dreading Monday, when I'd have to face Tay. Rumours of my party had already started circulating, and it almost became the stuff of legends, but I didn't care.
I spent the rest of my weekend wrapped in my duvet like a burrito of sadness and regret,watching Sex and The City and sobbing.

XOX Nay